Diary of a CajoleMan
by NacaMichio
Summary: "I wonder how long it will take..." Neal Caffrey decides that before he goes back to jail someone will know his side of the story, even if it's just blank paper. Slight AU. May be graphic.
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: Dark content! This is slightly AU and there is dark content. Not sure what the content is yet so if you have issues with anything sich as self harm or beatings do not read.**

**Warning: There is a lot of gramatic issues. I have no Beta so don't kill me please! This is my first time with present tense. Sorry if it is horrid. **

**This is to a prompt a friend gave me : _I wonder how long it will take..._**

**This is Neal's diary that he starts after he thinks he's going back to jail for good.**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Diary of a Cajole-Man<strong>_

* * *

><p>I loved the sound of pen scratching on the paper. I always had. Maybe it reminded me of the few nights Dad was home doing his work as I lay on the floor and quietly drew pictures that he never truely saw no matter how much I showed him.<p>

Why am I thinking of my father at a time like this? At a time when I could lose the man who had become closer to me than my real father ever had been. When had this started to spiral out of control? It was two days ago. I should have started this diary then but I just found time. I'm not much of a writer.

Since this is just a piece of paper no one will read until I'm dead or arrested then it won't matter what I say. Peter will look at this. Maybe he'll see it my way by then.

I am Neal Caffrey. I was arrested twice by Agent Peter Burke of the FBI who I was also released into the custody of for four years as an FBI consultant. About two days ago we went into a bust and mock arrested a boy named Joseph Krow. After about an hour with the young man I started to notice how familiar he was.

I looked him up and found that his real name is Jonas Moreau. As in Kate Moreau. I have loved Kate as long as I can remember and never did she tell me she had a son.

He has her eyes. How did I miss those eyes?

He came in two days ago and now he has to go back into this undercover crap that the FBI has conjured to get these fraud paintings back and I am scared. How can I send Kate's son into the wolves? You tell me.

Oh you can't. You're a piece of paper.I'll start from two days ago but It thought you would need a preamble.

Talking to paper again.

I wonder how long it will take...

* * *

><p>Two days earlier...<p>

I walk into the office and Peter is working on a case," How long ago did you get this?" I ask.

"I just got it about two hours ago. Come look." He made a motion to the pictures in front of him and I move over to them. All of them are pictures of a boy. He seems to be between the age of fifteen and nineteen. He has long, wispy, brunette hair that hangs in his eyes. It matches his white wife beater. The papers say there is a scar on his right cheek. Can't see it in the pictures.

"What's the deal?" I ask quietly, scoffing even quieter.

"He painted replicas of all of the paintings that were stolen from that gallery last week. When his step father saw them he thought he would pawn them off as real ones. His son came to us. This..." Peter points at one of the pictures," Is Joseph Krow. His father threw him to the wolves and forced him to go in and sell his paintings three times each. He was going to sell them to three major mobs working in this area of the continent. We set it up for him to go in with the paintings and we will arrest him and any pawns with him and confinscate the paintings."

"What good does that do? Won't it just get him in trouble?" I ask, scanning the photograph of the boy.

"Get's us some names to connect to the mobs, saves the kid and keeps a brilliant forger off the streets. When he hears your story it will scare him straight." Peter smiles and I smile sarcastically.

"Is he that good, Peter?" I ask. I have a lot of questions.

"Yes. Here is one of his paintings now." He put his hand up to signal that Jones could come in with the small painting he has under his arm.

"Here you are, boss. Hey, Caffrey." He has gone back to last name basis with me since the thing with the treasure. I technically wasn't the one who stole the treasure. Just saying.

"Take a look, Neal." He pulls the sheet away and I am shocked at the sight. Perfection. That is perfection. Almost as good as mine. I stare and twist my body and head to see better. I have to meet him.

"I have seen no rival to this other than maybe myself. How old is he?" I say, clearly in shock.

"Seventeen." Peter grins," And you get to meet him."

"Can't wait." I grin and look back at the work," Can I have this?" I point at the work and Peter's eyebrows knit together.

"Uh, No." He answers as he walks out. He stops at the door and leans back in. I smile my most charming smile and he shakes his head," No." I look at the painting again.

"I wonder..." I mumble to myself.

**Please review. Please. Reviews are life! Happy reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is a little shorter than the first chapter. Hope you like it anyway.**

**Warning: Eventual dark themes and self harm as well as other harm. Not sure how bad.**

**I do not own White Collar**

**Diary of a CajoleMan**

I watch from the car as we pull up to the building. I am playing the boy's father in this sting. I have to convince them to buy the paintings and just as I do the men will run in and arrest all of us, includeing Joseph. This will put Joseph in with the higher ups. There he is so here we go. I walk into the place with Joseph beside me. He has on jeans and a white T shirt.

"from now on, you should wear a suit." I whisper, smiling. I was trying to calm him down. He has his hands in fists and he is trembling slightly. I put a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, there shouldn't be a next time." He mumbles to me.

"Let us hope so. Hey. Look at me real quick." I stop him and gently turn him to face me. I don't have to lean down to him. He's as tall as me. I try to look him in the eyes but his eyes are covered by his hair.

"What?" He asks like a disgruntled teenager.

"Calm. Stay calm. Let's go through a few things before we go in here." I smile.

"Sure." He answers.

"First, this hair. Whip your head to the left." As he does this I brush his hair to the side and create a wave effect on his forehead. It frames his face.

"H-how does this help? N-now they c-can see my face." His eyes shift back and forth.

"Now, let's fix that. Wipe that attitude away. You own this place. Keep your eyes on them. All times. Never look at the floor." I step back from him and bite my lip.

"Alright. What n-next?" He asks.

"When you talk, don't let your voice pitch up. Talk like your comfortable. Even with a stutter you can do this. You have a deep voice. Try it." I start to feel uneasy. I know this kid from somewhere.

"Alright. " He nods.

"Now smile like you own this place. Like everything that happens in there is according to plan because you have no plan, understand?" I ask.

"_Neal."_ Peter says in the speaker in my ear,"_You can teach him how to be a con later. Focus. Actually, on second thought, don't teach him anything."_

Then he smiles. If I hadn't just told the kid how to handle himself I would think Keller had gotten to him. He owned that place. He has a smile that looks like mine when I pulled off my first heist. He could have stolen the crowned jewls and scared the queen into buying them back. I smile as well.

"Let's go." I say as we walk in," I wonder..." I mumble.

**Ok I promise the "I wonder..." And "I wonder how long..." Things will be explained in later chapters. It is wierd but there is meaning to it.**

**Thanks for reading reviews are life!**


	3. Chapter 3

**First person is getting easier I think. Present tense is not... Anyway, here's some more.**

**Warning: Harsh themes**

**Diary of a CajoleMan**

The men are all wearing black. Why black? I have a grey suit and red tie over white shirt. Even Joseph is dressed happier than these guys. Joseph looks like he is smoother than micheal Jackson. The smirk he has plastered to his face makes me grin even though we are surrounded by three groups of men from three different gangs.

"I'm Mr. Krow. This is my son Joe." I say.

"Joseph, If you would." Joseph interupts me. Rude.

"We argue a lot over that. Anyway, I see you each plan to give me a sum. Highest bidder." I smile.

"I will give you thirty thousand each without looking at them." Says the man to my right.

"I will give you forty thousand." Says the man to my left. Suddenly there are guns pointing at us. I grab Joseph and pull him back behind me and throw my hands up.

"How many parties are represented here?" One of the gunmen ask.

"Four, includeing yourself." I say," We don't want trouble."

"Then there will not be any. Everyone who is not Mr. Krow or his son should leave." The other men all leave as fast as they can. White collar criminals do not like guns. Suddenly I am hit in the chest with a gun and fall heavily to my knees. I feel hands in my hair, straightening me up so that I can feel a blade on my troat," Where are the paintings?" He asks me.

"Wait! They are my paintings." Joseph says beside me,"He doesn't know where they are."

"What do we care? How about you give us the paintings or be sprayed with daddy's blood."

"Actually that doesn't matter. I don't love him. Let's talk paintings and green." I can see the boy's smile from the corner of my eyes. I may have created a monster but that monster just saved my life. The blade is lowered, maybe in amusement since it lingers near my chest.

"Kid. That's guts. Let me look at the paintings." The blade moves from my view and I let out a sigh. Joseph is walking to the canvas and uncovers the many beautful the man hit's Joseph across the face and then I am hit to the ground. I lay and watch as they load the paintings into a truck. When I am finally able to sit up I grab Joseph and pull him in a hug close to my chest.

"You alright?" I asked. He barely nods but is close to succuming when the FBI run in. The truck speeds off, leaving two men. Joseph and I are thrown, none too lightly to the ground and handcuffed. Peter is behind me, picking me up, guiding me to the car. Joseph is struggling more than I am. He may be disoriented. Well, I am supposed to be his suedo step father," Joseph! Don't fight! Don't fight!"

Jones slams him to the trunk and I see his face, his hair is out of the way of those shining blue eyes as he grins the cockyest grin I have ever seen and I am shoved into Peter's car. We speed off as I lay my head on the window.

"Worst idea ever." I mumble as the pain starts to throb in my head increasingly.

"Did you have a better one?" Petere asks.

"No. Kid's hurt though. Need to get him checked out." I am haveing trouble talking at this point so I close my eyes against the throb. I open them and see Peter in front of me saying something. What is he saying?

"Neal! NEAL! STAY WITH ME!" He shouts as my world fades to black.

I wonder how...

**Thanks for reading. Review?**


	4. Chapter 4

**I REUPLOADED THE LAST CHAPTER SO GO BACK AND READ IT IF IT WAS SHORTER THAN 700 WORDS! **

**Warning: Will get grafic in later chapters.**

**This one is a little lobnger than the other two. I got in the mood.**

**Diary of a CajoleMan**

The room spins everytime I move my head but I have to look around. I am not where I want to be. The scent of too much floor cleaner reaches my nose and I curse quietly. I turn when I see motion to my left and close my eyes when the scenery continues to spin. I blink a bit then smile at Peter.

"How you feeling?" He asks. I see that I am in a bed with white, crisp sheets and Peter is in a very uncomfortabl plastic chair, holding my left hend. At the elbow there are tubes running up from my arm. I hiss at the needles and Peter grabs my hand with his free one to stop me from pulling them out.

"When can I get out of here?" I ask.

"Soon. You'll be back out there in no time." Peter smiles.

"What happened in there?" I ask, laying my head on the pillow.

"Not sure yet, really. We'll update you when we know. For now, just get better."

"I wonder how..." I mumble.

I'm let out about three hours later with some really good perscription for lots of sleep and less work. They want someone with me at all times and Peter says he's arranged that. We walk out to the car and I lean on the roof, resting my chin on my crossed arms, looking across at Peter.

"What do you mean, arranged that?" I ask.

"Joseph was let out of the hospital about an hour before you. He was taken to June's, where he will be staying across the hall from you." Peter smiles and comes back to my side of the car to help me in.

"He is living at June's?" I look out the window as we start to drive.

"Yep. He has no where to go since his foster father is in jail for trying to sell the forgeries. Now, you get some rest tonight. We have a big case to work tomorrow if we want those paintings back, the real ones I mean." We ride the rest of the way in silence and as we walk up the stairs Peter holds my elbow. Normally I would complain but his hand helped. The steps hurt to walk up. My head still throbbed and I was weary about halfway and couldn't breath. More had been hurt than just a concussion.

"Peter, how bad was my concussion?" I huff at the top of the stairs.

"It was really bad. Not as bad as we thought but you are hurt. They threw you to the ground so hard that we were surprised that even with help you made it to the car. Joseph had been knocked out cold when they threw him down but he woke up when you grabbed him. His was little less than yours though. It's funny how bodies can be different."

"Funny." I sigh. I see Josepph wondering around his assigned room as we pass to get to mine. I stop and walk back to the doorway," Hey, Joseph."

"Yeah." He says, looking up from the thing in his hands.

"If you need me, I'm right there. Anytime. I don't have a real schedule so just come over if you need anything. I have a fridge." I smile and he smiles back, nodding. I turn back to Peter and then I walk into my apartment.

"Well, El is waiting for me. I better get home before she gives it to Sachmo. Call me if anything happens." He sighs," Keep an eye on him. He runs a lot. Every Foster home he runs from. I think you can calm him down for a bit."

"Do you?" I ask, leaning back on the couch and spreading out.

"It may be good, For the both of you. Night, Neal."

"Night, Peter." I start to doze as the door closes. A few minutes, or it could have been hours, not sure, later, I hear footsteps quietly shuffle to my door. They stop just before my door and I can hear someone shifting from foot to foot, the board under his feet creaking. Then the steps retreat," Joseph. You can come in." I shout.

"Are you sure?" He says from outside the door, slowly opening it," I'm n-not bothering you?"

"Nope. What's up?" I glance up at him. He steps in and is standing above my head near the couch so I can see him, even though he's upside down.

"Can't sleep. K-kind of..." He looks down at his bare feet then glances up at me. I grin.

"Do you know how to play chess?" I ask. He grins, suddenly excited.

" one likes to play me anymore because how..." He suddenly stops before the brag is complete.

"Come on. Let's see if you can back that up." We sit down and I start the game. It only takes him a few minutes to catch on to my strstegy and I have to change it. Half way through we come to a standstill and I grin.

"Wow. This is the first t-time someone has ever st-stumped m-me." He rubs his upper lip then moves his piece," Ch-check."

"Wow... That's... amazing..." I take my turn and take the peice so that I am no longer in check and see my mistake too late. He moves his queen and smiles.

"Check m-mate." He laughs," That was the b-best game I have ever p-played."

"I have a question. Don't get offended." I lay my chin on one of my fists on the table.

"M-my st-studder." He guesses.

"Yeah. Normally it's not... Yours is..." I try to find the right words.

"Yeah, d-different. The d-doctor's aren't sure what c-causes it. N-not st-stress. It m-must b-be the same thing that c-causes the n-nightmares." He leans back in his chair and runs a hand through his hair that he has greased back from his face.

"I think I can help." I stand and walk over to my bookshelf, pulling a book loose. I walk back and lay it in front of him.

"Poetry?" Joseph looks at the cover then back to me, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, poetry. I want you to read one poem out of the book aloud every night. By the end of that book you won't have as bad a studder, if one at all. Also, I can give you speach lessons if you would like. I had to learn how to teach language. Don't ask." I sit in front of him and start to set up the chess board and my vision blurred. For the past hour I had been fighting a migrane that was catching me.

"T-take this k-kiss upon the b-brow!And, in p-parting from you n-now,Thus m-much let  
>m-me avow-You are n-not wrong, who d-deem..." He starts to read.<p>

"Ah, Poe. Good choice." I smile and stand, rubbing my left eye with my palm.

"That my d-days have b-been a d-dream;Yet if hope has flown away  
>In a n-night, or in a d-day,In a vision,<br>or in n-none,Is it therefore the less g-gone?All that we see or seem  
>Is b-but a d-dream within a d-d-dream." He finishes the first verse and stops to watch mewalk to the sink," You alright?" He asks.<p>

"Head hurts. Just need some water." I take a glass out of the cabnet and turn on the faucet.

"Neal, m-maybe you should lay d-down. You're shaking p-pretty b-b-bad." He stands and walks torward me. I fill the cup and close my eyes. I hear the glass hit the floor before I even feel it leave my hand then I open my eyes and the room spin and I think I'm falling. Joseph catches me but I am too heavy and he lowers me to the ground.

"Call Peter. His number is on my cell phone." He lays me on the floor and searches for my phone. I close my eyes as the floor seems to rock back and forth like a boat.

"Agent B-burke?" I hear," Neal fell over. I think it's his c-concussion." He waits a few moments as he listens," I think he c-can." He walks back to my side and leans down to hand me the phone. I nod and lay on the floor with my eyes closed as I hold the phone to my ear.

"Peter?" I croak.

"Neal, did you hit your head when you fell?" He asks.

"No. Joseph caught me." I feel nausious but don't want to get up.

"Stay there, where you are and on the phone. Don't go to sleep. Stay on the phone." I could hear him getting in his car," I'll call one of my friends to come over and see if you need to go to the hospital."

"You have a friend that will make house calls this late?" I ask, trying to keep from being sick.

"Yeah. How are you feeling now, Neal?" He mumbles something to himself about slow drivers.

"Sick... Head hurts. Joseph?" I glance up at him.

"Right here." He nods to me.

"Try to stay away from the glass, if you can." I mumble, the words hurting my head.

"I c-can. I'm fine." He nods again.

"Neal?" Peter says.

"Yes." I sigh.

"I'm at the bottom of the stairs. I'll be right up." and as promised he's at my door in the next few moments.

"Hey, Peter." I grin from the floor, not opening my eyes.

"Alright, let's have a look and I'm going to give my friend a call. Don't move until he gets here."

"Hm." I can't make words, my head hurts.

"I knew you should have stayed another night." I hear. I'm drifting to sleep but keep trying to wake up.

"Neal. St-stay awake." Joseph nudges me.

"Mmmmk." I moan.

"When did you start to notice something was off?" I hear Peter ask.

"He stood up and walked over t-to the c-counter. His hands were shaking so I t-told him to sit d-down. He p-poured some water and d-dropped it then fell over." Joseph says.

"Ah, Hello. Dr. Riley?" Peter says, his voice fadeing as he walks into the hallway to get better service," Yeah, this is Peter Burke. It's been a while, you remember that favor you owe me? I'm calling it in, Bud. Yeah. I'll text you the adress. Thank you. Bye."

**Sorry for the abrupt stop. :)**

**Review? :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Medically this may not make sense but yeah. Anyway, Enjoy!**

**Warning: Dark themes to come.**

**Diary of a CajoleMan**

As I lay on the floor Peter cleaned up as much of the glass as he could and then answered the door. I sighed and the doctor gave me a once over then somehow I end up on the bed. I drift in and out of conciousness and when I open my eyes fully again, the throb is gone and the sun is up. Joseph is asleep on the couch and Peter is dozing in a chair at the table.

"Peter." I whisper and he shakes his head, picking up the chair and moving it to my side.

"Neal. The doctor said you overexhausted yourself. It's alright. Just need some sleep. Since you didn't hit your head when you fell he said you should be fine. After reviewing your medical records he said you'll be fine in three to four days." Peter smiles.

"So, no work then?" I said.

"No work. Maybe you can glance at the files." Peter pats the bed and turns to Joseph.

"He can take today off. He hasn't slept all night." Peter shakes his head.

"I know. We were playing chess." I close my eyes and rest my head on the pillow.

"I have to head to work. It's 8:00 am now. I'll call at noon." Peter whispered.

"Bye, Peter." I say.

"Bye, Neal." Peter says.

"Bye, Agent Burke." I grin and look over to Joseph who hasn't opened his eyes but is grinning.

"Uh, bye, Joseph." Peter left and We busted out laughing.

"How are you?" Joseph asks.

"I'm a lot better. Peter left some files if you want to look over them." I motion to the table. He had intended for me to look at them but he is bored.

"S-sure. M-maybe after I sleep for a while." Joseph nods and I close my eyes, hearing him ajust and fall back asleep. I slowly reach in the end table next to my bed and pull a computer out of the drawer. I pull up a search, one I am not supposed to have, and put Joseph's name in.

_Joseph Krow Age seventeen. Put in foster care at age eight under the name Jonas Moreau. Name legally changed when he was first taken into a home. He requested it out of fear of someone finding him. He takesthe last name of whoever he is with. _

_Also Known As:_

_Joseph Stanton_

_Joseph Lawler_

_Joe Greene_

_Joseph Aeron_

_Frequesnt runner._

I only read the important details but I only see one thing. Moreau. Kate. In one of the captions I read, _Mother deseased. Father unknown._

I had just started seeing Kate around the time he was supposedly in her care. Could he even be...? It has been so long since then, four years since I last saw much longer before then that we first met. I glance at Joseph who is on his side, curled up in fetal position on the couch.

"Joseph." I close the computer and sit it on the endtable," Joseph!" I threw a piece of paper at him from the table.

"What!" He sat up irritably.

"I need to go see someone. Want to come?" I ask, sitting up and throwing the covers off. I had on the suit pants and shirt from the day before. I had never changed.

"Are you sure that's a g-good idea?" Joseph shook sleep from his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair.

"I'll be fine. It's a friend. He'll make sure I'm fine. We can't go very far." I wiggle the anklet on my left ankle.

"Alright. L-let m-me g-go ch-change." joseph slowly makes his way out of my apartment and to his room. I take out my phone and dial the familiar number. The one Moz said he was going to get rid of everytime I called but he never has.

"The bluebird..." I hear the familiar voice start.

"Moz..." I sigh.

"Neal! Why do you do that! Every time!" He shouts to the phone.

"Hey, sorry. Not feeling up to it. Sorry." I smile at him as he starts to rant," I am sorry. Ok, Moz. Moz. Mozzie!" I can't help but laugh.

"What, Neal?" We havn't spoken since the treasure and I can't tell if he's angry or ashamed. He shouldn't be either.

"I need to talk to you, Moz." I get serious.

"Neal, I can't be at your beck and call all the time." Mozzie said.

"Come on. I have someone who wants to meet you . You're not going to believe this."

"Where." He sighs again.

"The Cafe. You know which one." I smile.

"Who is it, Neal? Not another Suit, right?" Mozzie asks.

"Not another Suit. A kid. He beat me at chess, Moz." I walk into my closet and start to undress.

"Oh, I do need to meet him." He tries to hide his excitement.

"You will. See you then."

"Bye, Neal. don;t try this line again. I'm going to throw this phone out." He threatens.

"Alright,Moz." I dress then walk back out to the kitchen, throwing the phone into my jacket pocket then throwing the jacket on.

"Ready t-to go." I spin and see Joseph waiting in the doorway.

"Yeah. Come on." I lead him down the stairs and smile at June, who is just returning from walking her dog," Bye, June." Ii kiss her cheek.

"Neal, you know Peter told me to talk you out of going anywhere." She states.

"Yeah. We both know I'll do anything you ask." I grin.

"Be safe, Neal. Nice to see you Joseph." She nods to him and he lifts one hand to wave then shoves them both into his pants pockets. We walk quietly a few blocks and then I see Mozzie waiting in front of the Cafe.

"Neal. Coffee?" He leads us in and we sit at the normal table in the corner near the back window.

"I'll go order for us." I say but Joseph touches the back of my chair.

"N-no, I'll d-do it. write down what you want. D-don't want you walking more than n-needed." He took the napkin from us and walked over to the counter.

"Neal, he looks like..." Mozzie starts, leaning over to me.

"Kate." I whisper.

"No. I thought he looked like you. Who is he?" I am shocked at his revelation.

"Uh, He's Joseph Krow. He's helping us with the paintings case. You know the one." I gesture and sit back.

"Yeah, I know, but who is he?" Mozzie insists.

"Kate's son." I whisper to my chest.

"Kate's what? Does that mean he's?" He gestures to me.

"I don't know. Couldn't tell you. After we first met we didn't see eachother very often. There were sometimes months we missed eachother." I shook my head, still looking at my chest.

"Uh, Neal." Mozzie points and I look up to See Joseph's eyes widen and he drops the coffee's in his hands. I look at the door and see two very recognizable men then I look back and Joseph leaps over the counter and through the back door into the kitchen. I duck below the table and hide behind Mozzie's legs.

"Did they see me?" I whisper. Mozzie shakes his head barely.

"Go around back. The kitechen opens to the back alley. He's the one that we took the paintings from. Go. He had two coffee's. He's here with someone." I hear. He was the gunman that hit me. I recognised his voice. I tap Mozzie's leg and he stands up.

"Fire! Fire!" He shouts and everyone stands up and starts to file to the door. I stand and file past the man without him even noticeing then I run to the alley. Joseph is standing at the back of it, pressed up against the brick wall of the dead end. The man in black is talking to him and I can see the gun glinting at his side. I see another in the holster at his hip. I dial my phone and wait.

"Burke." Peter answers.

"Peter don't hang up." I whisper then mute it so he can hear what's going on but no one can hear him. I slowly walk up behind the man when he flings his arm up to point the gun at Joseph, who is shaking.

"I didn't know they were fakes!" Joseph shouts.

"Lier! Where are the real ones?" He yells at Joseph. I slip the gun from his waist band and step into his view to his right. There is about three feet between me and him.

"Ah, Daddy comes to save the day. Shoot me." He laughs. Joseph starts to lower his hands to his sides.

"Don't move. I don't want to hurt you but I will." I try to sound brave but Joseph is in danger.

"The time is set, Joseph." The ma laughs and cocks the gun.

"Peter, don't make me do this." I shout. The man raises an eyebrow.

"Peter? Who's Peter?" He shakes his head then I see Joseph's hand flick and somthing silver inbeds itself in the man's side. He grabs it and then tries to pull the trigger and I shoot the gun out of his hand. Joseph screams and covers his ears, sliding to the ground and the man fall on his back with a loud 'thump' and I see the knife in his side. I hear sirens and turn my back to the entrance of the alley, the gun hanging from my hand loosely up in the air.

The gun is taken from my hand and my hands are cuffed behind me," Neal, don't say anything." It's Peter behind me. I nod and glance at Joseph. He is curled up in a ball,, holding his ears,"Get Joseph, Diana." He starts to lead me away.

"Why are you shaking so bad, Neal?" He asks.

"I don't know." I lie.

"It's all right. We'll clear this up at headquarters. The arrest isn't formal. Get in the car."

"I wonder." I smile as he lowers me into the car.

**Reviews make chapters longer LOL j/k just please review if you want.**


	6. Chapter 6

**This is a lot longer than the rest. **

**Warning: Dark content in the next Chapters don't read past this if not to your liking.**

**This will bring us back to the beginning...**

**Diary of a CajoleMan**

I stand in Peter's office and look out the large window at the city, just waking up in the dark as the sun completely sets and the sky darkens. I ball my hands into fists to keep them from shaking. The only time this happens is when I thought of Kate just after the plane...

"Neal." I turn to Peter," Joseph is in the conferance room." He closes the door," Can you tell me what happened?" He leans on his desk, facing me.

"We went out to meet Moz for some coffee. We sat at the table and Joseph went to order. Moz noticed he was acting funny and I saw the gunmen from the sale. Joseph jumped the counter and one of them went outside to catch him in the alley. I slipped past the one who was in the cafe." I smile.

"By having Mozzie fake a fire." Peter adds

"Yes. Then when I saw the goon had a gun I called you and waalked into the alley. I took the gun from his waist holster. When he cocked the gun Joseph threw something to distract him but he was going to shoot." The words fell from my mouth," And then I shot the gun out of his hand and you guys showed up."

"Neal, Did he talk to Joseph?" Peter rubs his face.

"Yeah, he was asking him a question." I say.

"Do you know what?" Peter asks.

"No. Why don't you ask Joseph?" I gesture with my chin.

"He won't talk to us. Hasn't said a word. Nothing. We tried everything."

"I'll talk to him." I offer.

"You should. For some reason he seems to trust you." Peter crosses his arms.

"What do you mean?" I shift my weight from one foot to another.

"I don't know. He acts... like you that first year. Before Kate's death. Just see what you can get out of him." Peter gestures for me to leave and I walk to the door and down the hall.

Joseph is waiting in one of the chairs, his head down, hair falling into his eyes again. I sigh and sit in front of him,"Joseph?" I whisper.

"Neal." He doesn't look up.

"Are you alright? We need to know if you are hurt." I try.

"He d-didn't t-touch me." He mumbles.

"Are you sure? You won't have to go to hospital. I can take a look if you want." I say.

"I'm not hurt. Really." Joseph glances up at me.

"Joseph, he was speaking to you before I came around. I need you to tell me what he said." He stays silent for a moment then glances up at me.

"He says he wants the r-real p-paintings. He didn't believe m-me when I t-told him I d-d-didn't have them. He t-t-t-told me that if I d-d-didn't..." He closes his eyes and breaths heavily for a few moments," If I d-didn't g-get him the p-paintings he would go for m-my g-g-girlfriend." Joseph puts his head in his hands.

"Girlfriend? Joseph, what's her name?" I ask.

"N-name?" He looks up,"I can't tell you."

"Why not?" I ask, getting frustrated.

"She is... like you. She is a conwoman. I d-don't know where she l-lives."

"She's in danger. Don't lie to me, Joseph." I glare at him.

"Her n-name is G-grace Stanton. She was m-my first foster sister. She l-lives with our first family. They k-kicked m-me out after I k-kissed her. Said we c-could d-d-date but c-couldn't live tog-gether."

"How old is she?" I ask

"Nineteen." Joseph smiles.

"Nineteen. Really?" I raise my eyebrows in surprise.

"Can agent Burke help me?" He asks.

"Yes. Tell him everything you told me and tell him where the meeting place is. He'll help you." I smile and walk back to Peter's office," Pete. He'll talk to you now. You should send someone to the Stanton's. Joseph's girlfriend, Grace Stanton, has been threatened."

"Stanton as in his first foster family?" Peter asks.

"Yeah." I nod.

"I'll send Diana. Jones is going to take you home. I'll bring Joseph in a bit." With that he dismisses me and Jones follows me into the elevator. I sigh and lean on the wall of the elevator.

"Man, had stressful past day or so, huh?" He asks.

"Yeah, definatley." I smile at him then straighten up as the door opens and I follow him to his car. We drive in silence and he walks me up the stairs.

"I'm staying in the car downstairs until Peter comes. call me if someone gets in that I don't see. Anything else happens you know where I'm at." He smiles and heads back down the stairs. I walk in and flop down on the couch.

I wait about an hour then hear knocking on my doorframe,"Neal?" It's Peter.

"On the couch." I call. He comes in and sits across from me in a chair he moves from the kitchen.

"Hey, Joseph is going to come over here for a bit and his girlfriend will be here as well. She is going to be staying in a room downstairs. Can you keep an eye out and make sure she goes down there sometime tonight?" Peter asks.

"Uh, sure. I'll make sure they get to sleep at a decent time." I nod, sitting up.

"Neal, I'm sorry to have you on babysitting detail." He smiles.

"It's alright. He's not that bad." I grin as Joseph walks in.

"Grace j-just t-texted m-me. It will b-be about an hour before she's here." He sits on the couch next to me.

"So, am I going to like Grace?" I ask.

"Yeah." He turns to me," She is so smart. She plays chess really well, not as well as me though, and can read six books at a time. She loves to read. She also writes a lot. She taught me how to paint. My first painting was of her face framed by her hair. It's gold in certain lights. "He smiles shyly,"You're laughing at me." He grins.

I grin and put a hand in his hair and ruffle it roughly," Not at all. It's cute." He shoves my hand out of his hair and shoves me away by the shoulder.

"Shut up." He mumbles, fixing his hair.

"And you didn't studder at all when talking about her." I add, messing with him.

"Shut it, Neal!" He shoves me with both his hands and kicks me anklet.

"Ouch, that kind of hurts!" I laugh.

"Good!" He grunts, trying not to smile.

"Are you two done?" Peter asks. We both straighten and try to keep straight faces.

"Yeah, we're good." I nod but after glancing at Joseph I have to stifle a lough. He grins and looks down so his hair hides his face.

"So, tell me about this painting." Peter adds. Joseph stands up.

"Ugh!" He says and storms out of the room, you people." I look at Peter and he tries to hide his smile.

"That was mean, Peter." I mock scold him. He glances at his phone.

"Grace is here. I'll bring her things up. Joseph. Get in here." He comes back i as Peter is leaving," I'll be right back." Joseph sits next to me and I grin at him until he finally looks up at me.

"Shut up!" He shoves me again and stand to walk into the kitchen.

"I didn't say anything!" I shout.

"You were thinking it!" He accused.

"Yeah, I was wondering why she makes you so nervous!" I shout. I turn around when I hear a very high pitch voice from the doorway.

"Because He's worried that I'll beat him at chess, again." Grace has long blonde hair that has small waves all over, held back from her face with a black headband that matches her white shirt and black skirt. The skirt stops just before her knees revieling long slender legs on a pair of black high heals.

"That was one out of many times." He said, more confidence in his voice than normal.

"but i have been practicing." They glare at eachother for a moment then she smiles and they both move forward, meeting in the middle and hugging tightly, Joseph lifting her by the waist and spinning. He puts her down and they kiss.

Peter clears his throat from the door and we all look at him and grin. Grace steps back from Joseph, but not do much it pulls his arm off her waist.

"So." I stand up to block Peter from lecturing them," This is Grace?" I ask. I put a hand out and she takes it. I smile my most charming smile.

"Neal Caffrey." I introduce myself and it catches me off guard when her smile matches mine. The smile of a professional Conartist.

"Grace Stanton. I see your the one my boyfriend has been having to babysit?" She flashes a mischevious grin at Joseph.

"Babysit, huh?" I ask, putting my newly released hand in my pocket and turning to Joseph.

"Uh, I d-didn't say that. I j-just said you were the one I had to watch b-because..." He can't come up with anything and smiles when Ii smile.

"You're not off the hook." I warn him.

"Well, can Grace and I go watch a movie? In my room?" He asks.

"Yeah. Go on." I turn to Peter who glares daggers at me then watches them go past him. I shrug and smile.

"You had better watch them." He warns," Jones is downstairs. You stay home tomorrow. jones will come get him around 7 in the morning. Make sure they sleep."

"Alright. Night Peter." I nod to him.

"Goodnight, Neal." he turns, sighs then runs down the stairs. I give it about two hour then walk into Joseph's room to tell them to go to bed.

I smile at the scene. Joseph is lying on his back and Grace in laying on her stomach. Her arms are crossed on his chest and she had her head on them like a pillow. One of Joseph's arms is wrapped around her waist loosly and protectivly. I turn off the Television and throw a blanket over the sleeping couple.

As i start back to my room I realise, Jones is picking Joseph up tomorrow. The meeting. They are sending him in without me because I'm hurt. I sit down and take out a familiar notebook and pen. I have thought about this notebook a lot but I haven't had a reason for it before now. I open it and check the time. Midnight. This is where the story takes a turn back to the preamble. I start to think about my father and i start to write. I'm scared. I write to try to calm myself down. I write:

_I am Neal Caffrey. I was arrested twice by Agent Peter Burke of the FBI who I was also released into the custody of for four years as an FBI consultant. About two days ago we went into a bust and mock arrested a boy named Joseph Krow. After about an hour with the young man I started to notice how familiar he was._

_I looked him up and found that his real name is Jonas Moreau. As in Kate Moreau. I have loved Kate as long as I can remember and never did she tell me she had a son._

_He has her eyes. How did I miss those eyes?_

I sigh and put the pen down. I start to think,' Is this what my life is going to be? I have a choice.' I start to write again.

_...I'm scared. Can I send Kate's son into the wolves?_

I sigh again. there's only one choice. I sit for the next three hours and write this all down. They are sending Joseph into the wolves and I am either going to die or go back to jail for what I'm going to do. Sitting here now I think to myself,' joseph might not be _my_ son. This child could be from one of her past boyfriends, _But does it matter?_" Does it matter?

No. It's only been two days. I see it plane and simple. Even though it's only been two days I see Joseph as my son. I will always see him as my son. I don't need proof. Tomorrow when he goes into the wolves I'll go with him. I'll probably not come out of this. i had to write this down. As I said earlier, Peter will read this. Maybe by then he'll see it my way.

How could I not fall in love with him? How could I not become a father to this boy? I know he may not see it the same way but he'll be my son now, until the day I die.

I wonder how long it will take... I wonder how long it will take for me to go crazy. I wonder if this is what it feels like. I'm scared... I'm scared but who isn't? Th sun rises and I smile. The clock reads 6:50 am. Here we go.

I wonder...

**Duh duh duuuun! This is not the end! *Cackles evily***

**Review? Tell me what you think. **

**Oh! And I am thinking of having a sequel from Joseph's point of view. Who's interested? It won't be in first person present tense. Probably thrd person following Joseph around. It'll be a while from now though. Still have a bit of this to do.**

**:)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Warning: Dark content**

**Diary of a CajoleMan**

I am back at my apartment. It's been three and a half weeks since my last imput into this old book. It hurts to sit up and even more to walk and talk. It's getting easier and I am glad they let me out of the hospital. Peter checks in every now and then. Guess I should start where Jones left the apartment with Joseph.

* * *

><p>I put the book away and walk out to the top of the stairs. I see Jones at the base," Hey, Jones." I whisper.<p>

"Caffrey. I think maybe you should wake Joseph up. He doesn't like me very much." Jones shifted in his jacket," You look aweful, man."

"Thanks. You look peachy." He shrugs and I turn to Joseph's door and slowly open it. First I wake up Grace then Joseph," Hey Grace. Grace." I shake her elbow and she stirs then I touch Joseph's forhead," Joseph."

"Huh?" Grace sits up and crosses her legs and Joseph stretches his arms up above him," What's up, Neal?" He mumbles.

"Joseph, you need to get dressed. Jones is here for you." I whisper then grab Grace's elbow lightly. She stands and I lead her to the door," I'm taking you to your bedroom downstairs, alright?" I whisper. We work our way past Jones and she leans on me as I lead her down the stairs and to her room. I watch her lay down and cover her up then close the door and walk back up the steps two by two.

"Neal?" Joseph croaks from his dimly lit room. He just has a small lamp turned on.

"Yeah?" I mumble as I enter his room.

"Are you c-coming with me?" He asks, tightening his belt. I feel a knot in my throat and swallow it.

"Not this time, buddy." I smile weakly.

"Really?" He looks up, suddenly shocked.

"You'll be alright. Plus I wouldn't let you get hurt. " I wink and he nods. I wonder how much he understands.

"Neal, I have to tell you something." He turns to me and I nod.

"I d-didn't c-come to the FBI b-because I was worried about my foster father selling m-my paintings." He studders. I close the door and sit on the bed. He sits next to me.

"I know." I mumble.

"How m-much d-d-do you kn-know?" He asks, letting his hair fall in his face. I brush it away forcing him to look at me.

"Kate's your mother." I say quietly," That's about it."

"She p-put m-me in foster c-care when I was eight. She... She said if anything happened t-t-to her that I should look for N-nick Halden. I d-did and when my foster father came to me with the paintings scheme, I saw it as a way to find the m-man b-behind then-name. I knew N-nick was you after a long search through the FBI database. I kn-knew you would b-be assigned t-t-to my c-case. Neal... She n-never t-told me why i should c-come t-to you." He was almost in tears at this point.

"I don't know, Joseph. I haven't got a clue. She never told me about you. I don't know why she would send you to me. We never talked about kids. I don't even think I'd be that good of a father." Suddenly he stood up.

"Well, I'd b-better g-get ready t-to g-go. When this is d-done they are sending me b-back to foster c-care. I'll miss you, Neal."

"Foster care! How could they send you to foster care?" I ask, standing up and blocking him from moveing around the room. He looks up at me.

"They said if I d-didn't want t-to stay here I had t-to g-go b-b-b-back." He mumbled, trying to hide his face again.

"Why wouldn't you want to stay here?" I ask.

"Why would I w-want t-to stay somewhere where I'm n-not wanted!" He shoves past me and picks up a tie and starts to put it on.

"Who says I don't want you here?" I ask angirly. He's making no sense.

"You d-d-don't even want t-to b-be here so why would you want something to hold you here when that anklet c-c-comes off! i c-c-can tell when I'm n-not wanted." He grabbed his jacket and started to leave but I grab his arm and spin him into my chest. I hug him close and put one hand in his hair, holding him to me. I rock from side to side.

"Joseph, I want nothing more than for you to stay here!"

"I m-might n-not even b-be your SON!" he shouts the last word, frustrated with his studder.

"I don't care!" I sigh.

"I c-can't stay." He whispers to my shoulder.

"Jonas, you don't have to run anymore." Suddenly he shoves me, hard. Nothing like the playful shoves of the night before. I fall to the floor and he storms out the door and slams it. I sit, shocked for a moment then I stand and rush out and down the stairs. I get to the car just as he closes the door and I swing it open, kneeling down next to him.

"Get away, Neal!" My name is the only word that starts with N that he doesn't studder.

"Joseph, I want you to live with me. I can't adopt you yet because of my Anklet..." I say quietly but he interupts.

"See! You're already m-m-making excuses!" He shouts.

"No, I'm not! In a month you will be old enough to live whereever you want and I want you to come home with me! You may have to go to Foster services until your birthday but Peter can make sure no one takes you in! Then you can come back to me!" I plea.

"Neal, st-stop m-making this so hard!" I see tears welling in his eyes.

"Come live with me." I beg.

"How d-do I kn-know your b-being serious?" He turns away from me so that I can't see him clearly. I grab his hand that is closest to me.

"I have never been more serious."

"You'll b-be here for m-me when I g-get b-back?"

"i'll always be here for you." I nod then stand. He nods and grabs the door. I step back and he closes it. In the next few moments Jones drives away and I watch until they are out of sight. I pull out my phone and dial the familiar number.

"... It is the East and...?" Mozzie asks.

"Not now, Moz. I need you." I try to keep my voice steady.

"It's Joseph isn't it?" He sighs.

"Yes. Can you meet me at June's?" I ask. We have about an hour to get ready.

"Yeah. What do I need to bring?" I smile. i knew I could count on Moz.

**Review?**


	8. Chapter 8

**I think I may end this soon. Not so sure yet. Might keep going a little longer. I may start the sequel before I finish ths because I have a request for the next story from my best friend who I run my ideas past. any way...**

**Warning: Dark content ahead!**

**Diary of a CajoleMan**

I watch Mozzie run to the van and grin. Joseph had gone in the front door about fifteen minutes ago. I had researched this case and the men involved. I knew who was doing the sting and I also knew the man I hadn't shot was about to stab the head hancho in the back and Joseph would suffer for it. It is really confuseing but I understand. There's a lot to put together and when I get in there I'll know all I need to know. Maybe I am crazy. Maybe this makes no sense. Maybe this is fatherhood. I see the van door open and then it closes with Mozzie inside.

I slip around the corner and into the front door. I took a right and sank into the shadows. Storage room. Why a storage room? Joseph was standing in a small circle of light with the man, that same man from before, in front of him.

"I kn-know what this is. I kn-know what you've d-done." Joseph mumbled.

"Oh, what have I done?" he cackles.

"You stole the p-paintings. Well, you were hired t-to. Then you saw the p-price and p-pretended they were st-stolen from you so the third p-party would have n-no c-clue where they were. Then when m-my father t-tried t-to sell them, Perfect! P-pawn it off as we were the ones who stole from you. Perfect." The man moved toward Joseph, nose to nose with him and froze.I barely noticed Joseph's fist up by his face and the tip of the knife he was holding to the man's neck. He was fast.

"You Punk! Keep your mouth shut!" The man yelled. He moved to punch Joseph's abdomin but the knife was inbedded in his wrist long before he even reached the halfway point between thier bodies. Joseph raised an eyebrow then removed the knife and pointed it at the shadows.

"How l-long have you b-been there?" Joseph asked. A man sighed and moved into view, at arms length from Joseph.

"Not long. You knew exactly when I came in." The voice sent chills down my spine.

"I d-did." He grinned.

"Keller." I sigh. It is so quiet I'm not sure I said it aloud. No one acknowledges it.

"Go get yourself cleaned up, Jerry." Keller commands the henchman. He clutches his wrist and leaves the room," So, Joseph. How are you?" He steps forward. Joseph pointed the knife at him and Keller steps back and Joseph puts the knife back in his sleeve.

"I hate violence." Joseph sighs.

"I see." Keller scoffs.

"What d-do you want?" Joseph asks. I want to leap forward. I stay where I'm at. Keller is armed. Always armed. In this situation I am the only one unarmed.

"Neal, how nice of you to join us!" Keller turns to where I am kneeling behind a row of shelves. There is no way he could see me, but he is looking right at me. There it came. A gun pointing at Joseph. I shook my head and had to smile. I step out from behind the rows as his grin spread wider.

"You always were able to find me." I sigh and spread my arms to show I wasn't armed or bugged under my black long sleeve collared shirt.

"The Feds are here, aren't they? This is outside your two miles." Keller gestured to my ankle with the gun. I close my eyes and lift my pant leg and the air rushes out of me as they stare at my bare ankle.

"They are... distracted." I lower my head. Joseph wouldn't have come out of this alive. The Feds wouldn't have been able to come in before Keller shot him. I know Keller. Even children are fair game.

"So they haven't even realised that you don't have your anklet?" Keller smiles. Suddenly the door flew open and the Feds run in. I see Peter in the crowd and then Keller has Joseph in his arms, gun to his head.

"Very original, Keller!" I shout. He jams the gun into Joseph's temple. Peter is yelling orders and the Feds are dropping thier weapons. I grab the gun out of the closest Fed's hands and point it at Keller, getting out of arms reach of the Feds. Keller points the gun at me. We both can end this right there. Keller smiles.

"You know I won't shoot you, , after last time, I can't say I'm not tempted." Keller says.

"I won't shoot you, unless you don't let go of my son." I keep my voice steady, although anger is starting to make me shake.

"Son! Oh, now I see it! Wow! He looks just like you. Even has that little studder you used to have. Worse than yours. A lot worse." Keller pulled his arm tighter around Joseph's neck.

"Let go of him!" I shout.

"Neal, put the gun down!" Peter commands.

"Not this time, Peter." I mumble.

"How's this..." Keller looks at Peter," Joseph and Neal come with me for a trip."

"No deal." Peter shouts.

"Or I could take this one out of the picture and a few others as I go down swinging." Keller suggests, resting the gun on Joseph's cheek. Joseph tries to pull away but is pulled back and chokes.

"I'll go!" I shout. I hold the gun up. Keller smiles.

"Could you kindly go with my friend here, Neal." He gestures to the man he called Jerry who has just entered the room. I sigh and grit my teeth then pull my pant leg up as I walk past Peter and hear him curse quietly to himself.

The man roughly shoves me into a van," Original!" I shout again. Keller climbs in with Joseph and the van door is closed and soon we were riding away. I sat in the corner and pulled my legs up to my chest. Joseph sat near Keller in a similar manner.

"So. Son!" Keller points to Joseph.

"Yeah." I mumble. Keller smiles to me.

"Let's cut the crap. Where are my pantings?" Keller asks.

"Why d-don't you ask J-jerry." Suddenly Keller hits Joseph with the gun then puts the gun away. Joseph grabs his head and wines.

"Wow, a lot like you, Neal." He looks up," Where are the paintings?" He asks. Joseph crawls over to me and curles up next to me. I put a hand on his shoulder as he lay on his side.

"We don't know where the paintings are, Keller." I say truthfully.

"In all my years I have never seen you more convincing. I know all your tells! None of them. You almost look like your telling the truth!" He exclaims.

"Then why don't you believe me!" I shout, loseing my temper.

"Because I know you, Neal! I know you!" Keller snarles and looks away.

"We do not have the paintings!" I shout.

"Like you didn't steal the treasure!" Keller turned to me.

"I didn't, ok! Mozzie did! By the time you came around I didn't even want it!" I close my eyes. Then open them again," How's the leg, by the way?" I ask.

"The bullet was rather painful. It's hard to explain how I got better. How about I show you?" He pulls the gun out and presses the gun to my knee.

"Are you really that angry?" I ask, looking at his face and not the gun at my knee.

"Were you? Were you so angry?" he says.

"No. You were about to kill Peter! He would have stopped before killing you but you wouldn't stop."

"Disloyal. I never thought I would use that word for you!" He pulls the gun away.

"Who's disloyal?" I ask.

"I killed for you! I stole for you!" He shouts.

"And I wanted that?" I ask.

"Did Peter? If the only shot had been a head shot would Peter want you to take it?" Keller grins. I grit my teeth,"Thought not." The van rolls to a stop," Well, here we are." He pats his legs and flings the door open. Three men wait for us," Get them to the other room." they climb in and throw a bag over my head and I grab Joseph's shoulder in a death grip. He grabs my hand as it is wreched from his shoulder and we hold on as they pull us away from the van and shove us down a hall.

They let us aid eachother as we walk until we are in the room they want us in and seperate us. They shove us to the ground then pull us apart and zip tie us to two poles next to eachother. Finally the bags are removed and Keller pistol whips me.

"Now, you're going to tell me where the paintings are." He kneels in front of me and grabs Joseph by the face, hard. I look over and see the blood running down from Joseph's hairline and pouring over Keller's hand.

"We do not have them!" I shout, my voice pitching as I try to kick him. He pulls his hand away from Joseph and grabs my ankles, tying them together as I try to pull away from him.

"We'll see about that." he growls.

**Ok so not that much dark content yet. Next chapter there will be.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Warning! Beating of an underage male as well as an adult male! Bloody! If you don't like stop reading now!**

**Diary of a CajoleMan**

Keller kneels in front of Joseph and Joseph looks down at his chest. When Keller forces his head up Joseph spits and a metal splinter, the size of a toothpick, inbeds in Keller's cheek. He grabs it and yanks it out. Blood leaks between his fingers," You little snot." He laughs.

"Sir?" Says Jerry.

"Get out!" He shouts. Keller grabs his arm as he starts to leave," On second thought, bring the gurney." Jerry nods and leaves as Keller kneels down to me. He takes out a knife and holds it to my cheek, barely dimpling the skin, looking at Joseph.

"Keller." I growl so only he can hear. He flicks his wrist and I feel the blood running down my cheek.

"I would recommend you rethink anything you do from this point on." Keller grins then the gurney is brought in. I wish so badly that I knew where the paintings were. Keller forces Joseph to stand, still attatched to the pole, the zipties digging into his wrists. He takes the knife in one hand and holds Joseph's throat and cuts the ties.

Joseph is tossed to onto the gurney and Jerry ties him down, with a lot of struggling. Kelly pulls his gun out and holds it by the barrel. I grit my teeth as he taps the handle to his empty palm.

"Neal. Where are the paintings?" He asks as a leather strap is tightened on Joseph's neck to keep him down. Joseph looks at me and closes his eyes.

"We don't have them. I don't have them. I didn't steal them. Mozzie didn't steal them. I don't know where they are. Keller. Mathew! Please!" I whine. Keller raises the gun above his head and brings it down on Joseph's right hand. Joseph bites his lip and closes his eyes.

"Are you sure you don't know, Neal?" He says. I shake my head and glare at him.

"When did you get like this, Mathew? Resorting to torturing children?" I mutter. Keller snarles and forcefully slams the gun into Joseph's hand repeatedly until he cries out. Keller stops, breathing heavily, and runs a hand through his hair.

"When I went to jail!" He shouts.

"I went to jail, if you didn't forget! I didn't turn into this!"

"You were given a chance, Neal! One we never get! One guys like us never get! The only chance guys like us get are those paintings! Where are they!"

"We don't know!" Joseph yells," We d-don't know where your p-paintings are!"

"You don't? Then maybe I should ask you." He spins and points the gun at Jerry.

"What?" Jerry says. Keller grins.

"There are two people in this room that know where the paintings are. I know one of them stands in front of me." He looks at Joseph then me," Who's the second?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Jerry says. Keller reaches in his pocket and pulls out a small device.

"Want to try that again?" He whispers, voice full of venom.

"Sir, I don't know what you are talking about." Jerry backs away and then Keller shoots him, blood spraying the wall. Joseph screams and turns his head.

"He has some lungs on him." Keller mutters.

"Why did you do that!" I shout.

"I don't like liers. Now, which one of you was he having this conversation with?" He presses a button and Jerry's voice rings out.

"_The place is set. We have it all ready but there's only one loose end. You. We can't have you give us away to the FBI. I have to shoot you." _then there is a short unintelligable voice answering him that is too fuzzy to understand or recognise.

"Keller, niether of us had that conversation. How do you know it wasn't one of your other henchmen?" I ask.

"Because this was taken from the pocket of the man you shot, Caffrey. He had this because I knew thier story wasn't airtight. The paintings were taken by one of you but they were in on it. Now they are both dead and I'm at the point I won't hesitate." He shakes his head. Joseph starts to sob nearby.

"Keller, you're not thinking straight. Really. We didn't do this. We don't have the paintings."

"We d-don't." Joseph adds.

"Oh, you think I am crazy, Caffrey? I'm crazy?" He laughs and turns to Joseph," Where are my paintings?" He whispers to him.

"I d-don't kn-know." He whines. I try to think.

"Mathew, you remember that deal in Taronto?" He turns to me.

"Which one?" He asks.

"You know the one. The one with the Van Gogh. In 2007?" I lay my head back on the pole I'm tied to.

"Yeah. I remember. What about it?" He leans on the gurney.

"I shot him." I mumble.

"You... What?" He steps up and crosses his arms.

"I shot him. It wasn't the cops. He was going to storm in and just start shooting, so I shot him... Then the cops ran in. I shot him for you and I vowed never to shoot anyone else again." I stare at him and the shock wheres off.

"You shot him, vowed never to shoot anyone again and then judge me for doing the same thing to save you?" Keller points at me with the gun and I wince.

"Yes, I was wrong for judgeing you. You shot him to save me, but you didn't stop there. That's not what I wanted to say. What I want to say is there are two people I shot a living person for, and they are both in this room. Keller, think about it. One person I would kill for. Why would I sit here and let you hurt him if I knew where the paintings were?"

"There were three people you would shoot for." He reminds me.

"Oh, and the third person I would shoot for is Joseph's mother. Mathew, we don't know where the paintings are!" I give my final plea.

"I want to believe you. I really do. But I just don't." He turns and throws the gun down on the dead body and leaves the room.

"Joseph." I say.

"Yes." He wines and looks at me.

"Did you take the paintings?" I ask, ashamed I have to ask.

"Did you kill someone for him?" He asks me.

"Yes. I'm not proud, and if I had to do it over, I would wait for the cops to get there. They could have stopped it." I sigh. I turn to Joseph and see him working furosiously with something," What are you doing?" I hiss as another knife comes out of the collar of his shirt.

"I always have at least forty of these on m-my person at all t-times." He says through his teeth clamped around the knife. He starts to mess with the leather around his neck while his left hand starts to work on the leather around his wrist.

"You never cease to amaze me."

**If this is a little confuseing drop me a line. I'll answer any questions and I do not own Van Gogh and even though I based the story about the van gogh robberies in 2007 does not mean I actually know anything about them. I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WTIH THE STOLEN VAN GOGH!**

**If you want the totally false story about Keller, Neal and Van Gogh in 2007 then PM me and I'll send it to you. If I get enough PM's I'll post it.**

**Review?**


	10. Chapter 10

**Warning: Dark content**

**Thanks so much to all my readers. I have gotten enough PM's and reviews requesting my Neal and Keller story that I am going to post it. I will send it personally to those who asked for it but I will also post it. See how it goes.**

**Diary of a CajoleMan**

Joseph sits up and starts to struggle with the final straps on his ankles. I sigh," Calm down and focas, Joseph." He nods and finally gets loose. He glances at me," Get the gun." I say. He nods and picks up the gun. There were no bullets in it so he goes for Jerry's gun at his waist. Also bulletless. I grin even though none of this is funny.

"What?" He asks.

"He was never going to shoot either of us. stand in the door's blind spot with your biggest knife and when he comes in take him down. Hurt him so he can't follow you then run for it. Just run." I command.

"What about you?" He mutters.

"Cliche but thank you. I'll be fine. He won't kill me. " Joseph nods and when he looks away I let my confidence waver for just a millisecond. Keller might not kill me but he will hurt me. Bad. He has already promised that.

The door creaks open and joseph lunges forward and stabs Keller in the arm. Instead of grabbing his injured arm, like anormal person, Keller grabs Joseph by the wrist and pulls him back into the room. Joseph stumbles back, giving Keller just enough time to pull the knife from his arm and stab Joseph. Ii see it's in the upper body but I can't tell where. Joseph stumbles to his right and falls. Unable to use his right hand he falls loudly to the floor.

Keller pulls the knife out and blood soaks Joseph's shirt as he gasps. Keller turns to me," Neal Caffrey! Where are the paintings!"

"He's going to die!" I shout.

"Then tell me where the paintings are! I'll call 911 as soon as I hear where they are." He grins in triumph and I start to cry. He looks at me then to Joseph," You really don't know where they are..."

He suddenly leaps at me and hold the knife to my chest, looking at Joseph," Where are my paintings?" He asks, desperate. I see Joseph thinking.

"We d-d-don't know." He gasps. Keller angrily drags the knife over my chest from the right to the left and I try not to scream. Joseph's eyes start to shift around then he settles on me then Keller," If you kill either of us then you'll never know. Call 911, i'll tell you where they are, then leave. Dissapear. I will never reveal where the paintings are to the FBI. "

"Really?" Keller grins," How do I know you're not making this up?" Joseph reaches in his back pocket and pulls out a small folded piece of paper. Keller moves over and takes it and unfolds it, eyes widening," Why would you fold this?" He asks then gasps. Joseph pulls the knife out of Keller's acheleas tendon as he collapses to the floor, trying to stop the bleeding.

"G-g-give m-me your phone!" He commands of Keller. Keller's eyes burn and he moves toward Joseph who points the knife threateningly at his chest. Keller throws him the phone and Joseph dials, and waits," Hello, Agent B-burke. GPs this phone. Come find us. Bring some ambulences. Dad's hurt and Keller is pretty bad off... yeah, I'm hurt a bit too. P-please hurry. Yeah. Do I have to talk or can I just leave the line open, please." He turns on speaker phone and slides the phone over to me.

"Peter?" I croak.

"Yes, I'm here Neal. They are GPSing you now. How bad are the injuries?" He says.

"Joseph is bleeding heavily and Keller is injured." I say, assesing the extent of the injuries," He's stopped the bleeding but Joseph hasn't." I notice Joesph is slumped lower to the ground and closed his eyes," Joseph. Buddy. You have to stay awake!" His eyes flutter then close again. Keller reaches over and slaps him," Hey!" I scream. He glares at me as Joseph sits up a little and his eyes stay partly open.

"Alright, next time I'll let him die." Keller hisses," Wake up!" He shouts and grabs Joseph's injured hand. Joseph hisses and sits up further, trying to stay awake.

"Neal, ambulance en route now. We're coming! " Peter said.

"Keller, can you come over and untie me so I can stop his bleeding?" I ask. He looks at Joseph then pulls himself over to me.

"When I get back out of jail, I will kill you." He whispers when he is close enough then he cuts my bonds. I almost shove him over in attempt to get to Joseph. I get behind him and pull him close to my chest, holding the wound with both my hands, pressing him close.

"One of these days I'll save you." Joseph promises, smiling.

"I'm going to hold you to that." I say, tears streaming down my face. Joseph's takes a deep shuddering breath and closes his eyes. I see him squeezeing his eyes shut in pain," don't go to sleep." I whisper.

"I'm not." He mumbles. Suddenly there are two more hands applying pressure to my hands. I look up into Keller's eyes.

"He's the only one who knows where the pantings are." Keller explains. I nod and look down. The blood has slowed but is still leaking between my fingers and out from under Keller's hands.

"It's ok, Joseph." I whisper.

"N' i's no' . " Joseph tries to communicate. I hear sounds in the distance.

"Back here! Peter!" I shout, my voice nearly hoarse from the lump in my throat.

"Neal! Joseph!" I hear Peter's voice but I feel Joseph's chest go still.

"Joseph. Joseph! JOSEPH! STAY AWAKE! COME ON!"I start to scream. I'm not sure when the paramedics come in and take Keller or pry Joseph from my arms. Peter holds me on the ground as I try to run after Joseph when they take him. I shout and fight but Peter holds me. Feels like loseing Kate all over again and another part of me leaves with Joseph. If he dies then I will never gain that back and I scream until I can't anymore. I don't remember being taken to the hospital but I do remember being given the sedative and falling asleep, holding Peter's hand.

"Neal, it's alright. It's alright. Calm down. It's ok. I'm here. It'll be alright." He says as I fade into blackness and fall asleep under the heavy drugs, feeling the loss I hope won't be true when I wake up.

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**Tell me how you think this should end. I wanna know what you think.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Shorter than the last ones, sorry. This is sort of a filler chapter. **

**Diary of a CajoleMan**

I wake and sigh. Peter moans and wakes up from his light sleep in the chair next to me. I cough a few times then smile weakly at Peter," Am I alright?" I ask. I don't remember being hurt bad enough for sedative."You are fine. You were fighting so bad that they had to sedate you." As he speaks I remember why I had to be sedated.

"How's Joseph!" I ask.

"He's in surgery. They stabalized him. They are trying to keep him that way. You'll be released in about an hour. That is all I know." He says, putting his hands up in defense.

"Alright." I whisper. We sit in silence for a bit but then El comes in and gives me a big hug. Based on her clothing and hair, she had just gotten off work. She kissed my cheek then sat on Peter's lap, the two faceing me.

"Neal. They just told me that Joseph is out of surgery. He has to go back a little later for his hand but that one is less extensive. He could go either way at this point, but things are lining up in his favor. " She puts her hand on mine and I smile.

"Thank you, El. That means a lot. Man, now I know how you guys feel."

"What do you mean?" El asks.

"When I run, this must be how you feel. So worried. Not sure if I'm ok or if you'll see me again. " I sigh and look at our hands on top of the white sheet.

"Yeah. This is parenthood." Peter laughs and I smile up at him.

"Yeah. I guess it is, and I guess your rebellious teenager has to grow up now." I say.

"But he's ready. You're ready, Neal." El rins her thumb along mine and I look down again to hide the newly forming tears in my eyes.

"Am I?"

An hour later I sign the last papers and start to walk out. All I want to do is sleep. What else is there, until he's out of the hospital. I walk slowly and try to stay awake.

"Neal." Peter says loudly. I turn around and sigh.

"I forgot." I pull my pants leg up. He shakes his head.

"No, Neal. I just wanted to tell you that you need to get dressed." He smiles slightly.

"What do you mean? I don't need my tracker?" I ask.

"Nope. Neal." He grins wider," Your sentence ran out yesterday, just after your admitance to the hospital."

"But I cut my tracker, went in against your orders, and shot someone." I say, clearly in shock. He closes the distance between us so that he is a foot away.

"The FBI doesn't care. They saw that you were fit to be free. Neal, You're a free man." He nods then smiles again. It finally hits me. Free. I'm free. I laugh then wrap my arms around Peter's neck and he wraps his around me, laughing also. This is the first good news I've had in a long time. Free. I'm free.

"Peter!" I choke out through my tears," Peter, thank you!"


End file.
